Why I'm blogging

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I was with the love of my life for nine years, eight months and sixteen days. We were married for 31 days. On our one month wedding anniversary, I discovered he had a girlfriend. I am now trying to navigate my life without him in it, and I don't quite know how to do it.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

out

my first night out as a "single" woman

it used to be that I never even paid a second of attention to any other man, because no matter what they said or did there was no way they would ever be able to treat me better or love me more than him



but now, as long as they look me in the eye they are treating me better than he is

Friday, December 2, 2011

worth

during my travels last week, I found myself with the question of:

"was all of the happiness and joy and love that I experienced over the past 9 1/2 years with him worth the pain that I am going through now?"


it has taken me awhile to come up with an answer, but every time it is the same one -


NO

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

signs

I miss him so bad.

But "he" is not "him" anymore. There is nothing when I look in to his eyes.

What once was the most honest, sympathetic, gentle soul filled with integrity and work ethic is now incapable of telling even the most basic truth or following thru on the most mundane statement.

What happened? Where did he go?



And why didn't I notice?

Friday, November 25, 2011

Once

Only broke down once today.

The drugs must finally be starting to work.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

25 days

Eight years ago today he had a beautiful ring and a beautiful question for me - he asked me to be his wife.

25 days ago I spoke to his girlfriend.



Today - I am thankful for my family who are supporting me thru this.

I am thankful that I am healthy.
(at least physically - working on the mental & emotional part)



I am thankful I found out sooner rather than later.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

sarcasm font needed

after we got back from the honeymoon, I wasn't ready for these to be off the car but he wanted to wash it and get everything off, so I put them on the oven & microwave door to continue the "celebration" -

how F'n ironic, no?