I am going to see a lawyer today.
Still not sure if this is what I am supposed to be doing.
Wait - of course this is what I am supposed to be doing. The lying, cheating, SOB doesn't deserve to be married to me, to be married at all. Even if just for 51 days. I don't want it to be any more days than it has to be.
But what if there is a chance? Should I even allow myself to think that?
This just isn't supposed to be my life.