Why I'm blogging

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I was with the love of my life for nine years, eight months and sixteen days. We were married for 31 days. On our one month wedding anniversary, I discovered he had a girlfriend. I am now trying to navigate my life without him in it, and I don't quite know how to do it.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Lost dreams

I go to bed crying.

I wake up shaking.

Mornings are the worst - having to think about going thru the entire day without him.
And all I want to do is crawl back under the covers and close my eyes and not face anything about any of this - it's just too horrid.

But when I do sleep I dream of him, of us, together.

Can someone please tell me this isn't real, this is a nightmare; can I please come out of surgery from a car crash, and have him there to tell me this was all imagined?
That it was some freaky Lost episode in my own crazy head?

That's just not gonna happen, is it?

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